First Official Post

"Flash that million dollar smile" the high school year book inscription said. Those were the days. Happy and so different. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I miss high school or anything. Gosh no. But it's who I used to be. Smiling all the time and then life happened, sort of.

Life has been good for the most part. A lot of ups and downs but nothing catastrophic. After high school came college, met my future husband, marriage and baby. I won't get into all the details now as to how we came into autism but I can say that if I fast forward to now, there is not too much smiling going on by myself and my husband.

We are lucky to have the happiest boy! Completely unaware of what is going on around him. Lots of smiles and good times when we are home. If only we could live in a bubble, but we don't. As a parent, it is tough to see the cruelty around him and what will probably get worse as he gets older.


"Did you speak to your son?" said one of my students on a recent trip away from home. "Sure" I replied because I really couldn't get into the real answer. The real answer was " NOPE, didn't speak to him because you see, he has autism. Even if I spoke to him he would be completely unaware of the phone, how it works and that mommy is on the other line. I can't ask him how his day went, can't tell him that I miss him and can't tell him I love him. I mean, I can, but he would probably be more into pushing the buttons on the phone then taking it all in. So my answer is NOPE , I did not speak to my son today". Sigh...not much to smile about I guess.

Why be so negative? Why not? Being positive doesn't get me anywhere. Flashing the million dollar smile feels more and more like work every day and I just don't feel like it anymore. Maybe this blog will help me cope somehow.


Tomorrow I have an appointment with a new neurologist. Just because, not because I really expect him to say anything worthy. Following the steps as usual. The last one we went to got mad at my son for opening and closing a door and for playing with the window blinds. He also wrote his report about the meeting all wrong with "Facts" he chose to write for whatever reason. Seemed to me like he used the same letter he wrote to someone else and changed the name on top. Not excited about that.

Friday is our school open house where we get to meet his new teacher and class. He will be going to an autism cluster to begin Kindergarten. Last teacher barely knew how to handle the autism kids and had to be told about the GFCF diet because she had never heard of it. I hope this one is up to date with all things "autism".