Anyone that knows our son knows he is obsessed with the water. We have always said he was our little Nemo. That is , until now.Last year he even took swimming lessons and by the time he was done he was swimming over the water just fine, could swim to the edge, pull up and get himself out of the water.
What happened? I have no idea.
We had tried several times this year already to start the pool routine again. We had noticed that he was not as into it anymore and in fact, was acting a little scared to go in. Instead, he plays on the entrance steps and does not do anything else. While I like that he respects the water now, I do not like his complete disregard for it. Especially living in Florida!
I was initially excited when the school announced that as part of a drowning prevention program, the county would be sponsoring swimming classes for Kindergartners for 2 weeks. I could not believe how great this was going to be! That is, until we got to the pool on Monday.
He initially sat down next to the kids in his class but then got up and left running in full panic mode as far as he could. Nothing I did worked so I just let him sit there while I sulked.
Yesterday was day 2 and it was the same. I tried not forcing him. I even left his clothes on until he requested to go in. He did! I then took off his shirt and shoes when he said " I want swimming" but then he ran away again. We tried enticing him with water, his teacher, and every technique imaginable and nothing.
Thankfully I was able to hide my frustration tears behind my big fashionable sunglasses as he just sat there watching the other kids jump, swim and splash around happily.
Part of me wants to throw him in the pool and make him swim (he knows how). The other part says well, if you want to sit there, then sit.
Today is Day #3 and I am NOT looking forward to it. I am dreading it like you would not believe. My husband says he is going tomorrow and that he WILL throw him in.
As an interesting side note, we told him all day yesterday that if he did not swim, there would be no hide and seek (his new favorite game with us) at night. Well, when my husband got home from work he did not even go greet him. Instead, he stayed in his room with this eerie quiet and respect. He did NOT request to play hide and seek (that he has been playing for 2 weeks straight)and when my husband scolded him for not swimming, he just stayed mum. He usually would cry or try to make us forgive him as he always detests when someone is mad at him.
I wonder what goes through his head. What is he feeling? What does he want to tell us to make us understand what has happened? It is incredibly frustrating not to know.
So, I leave you as I go get ready for the dreaded swimming lessons. Today I will attempt his favorite water toys and wetting his feet with more water.
More updates later. Wish me luck! :)
4 comments:
Maybe he's just feeling bad overall - you mentioned that he was having yeast issues and is just starting the new treatment.
I've read (Ross Greene, The Explosive Child) that even big consequences may have no effect on changing a behavior when a kiddo is feeling high anxiety or headed towards a meltdown.
I hope today is better for you (and him)!
Thanks!
Its one of the reasons we don't understand it. He has been having yeast issues internally but if you see the post before the yeast one he has been having a lot of positive gains lately.
There are some new off things like the spaceyness and the being a little defiant with us so maybe you are right and something is about to happen (in addition of what we are about to cause when we go on a yeast killing spree). Anyone wanna trade places for this next week? lol :)
The seriousness of his behavior last night towards daddy was very interesting to watch. He KNEW daddy was mad! that was a first!
I have not read the book you mention. Will have to add it to my reading list.
Hmmm. This does call for some detective work. Has anything happened to change your pool at home, or can you remember anything happening the last time he was at the pool before the school experience? You know how something so minor can induce anxiety.
I like your approach of going slowly. I would not "throw him in" though I understand the frustration. I would maybe even try a little ABAish reward stuff, rather than punishment/consequences. Since it is a fear, and he obviously wants to please Dad (you too). You know, tell him if he gets in the water for five minutes he will get x reward. Maybe? Start with low stakes, then gradually increase them?
I have The Explosive Child book, if you want to borrow it. However, although it is great theoretically, and might work with Aspie kids, it relies on a use of communication and language that my son just isn't capable of, though he is HFA. It is an intersting read, I like the theory behind it, but practically speaking, it is really beyond us at this point. Just my opinion.
I know how excited you were about the school swim program. Just keep trying a little at a time. Keep those fashionable sunglasses handy. Maybe I should get some too!
More hugs,
Katherine
Remember he doesn't get the " 5 minutes" concept, time concept in general yet. He gets, "try it" and " one more time"
But when hubby got home from work yesterday, HE WENT INTO OUR POOL. A teeny bit hesitant but after 5 minutes he was like nothing. So, what does this mean? it has to be something about the public pool he does not like!
-could it be the chlorine?? we just switched to a salt system in ours.
-Could it be his swim shoes which I had forgotten to take? will try those today.
At yesterdays lesson he still did not go in but I was able to entice him with his bucket to come fill and spill on the steps and wet his feet.
There was one moment of struggle as I forced him to sit on my lap at the edge of the pool. It took all of my strength and then some to keep him there for about 3 minutes. Boy those sunglasses sure do help! lol and my ultra skinny boy is VERY strong.
To answer your question yes, he did have a bad ending last summer to the swimming lessons when the instructor forced his head below water to begin the second swimming phase of swimming . He hated that and it was the last time he got into the pool with that instructor. I thought that could be it but since he went in with daddy yesterday, I am back to investigating square 1.
Let's see what today brings.
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