Monday, November 7, 2011

From wine to whine...

The hubby and I took a much needed break this last month and visited some Napa Valley wineries. Heaven. Wine has been our obsession recently. I think we have a found a way to deal with autism and developmental delays as a couple. No, not by drinking our sorrows (well, maybe a little). It is more of a shared hobby, an enjoyable one at that. We love learning all about the red wine, where it comes from, how it's harvested, etc. 

We secured babysitting and away we went. 4 days full of wine-ing and dining. We slept in on occassion too! What a concept. We are strong believers (now) that we must carve out time as a couple and individuals so that we can be better parents. Tired parents are less patient and not as clear headed.On the last night we  took the red eye from San Fran. Flight left at midnight west coast time and arrived at 8am east coast time. My husband jumped right into work and I jumped into therapies, diapers, and the OTHER type of WHINING. The days of the right kind of wine-ing were forgotten within 15 minutes of setting foot inside the house.

We dove into our usual Tuesday slavedom that is Quinn's new program. 4 hours of a "mommy and me meets preschool type of class where the moms follow the kids around and do exciting things like table tasks and sensory stations. Kill me now. As a second timer (did plenty of rounds with Kai, now 9) this time around with Quinn (28ms) is just annoying. I wish I was taking him to the zoo, the seaquarium, the park or just on typical playdates. Instead, every morning is filled with a different therapy. The joy. Speech therapy back to back with physical therapy back to back with ABA therapy and on the other days? the preschool classes. I also have to listen to all the mothers, myself included, pronounce all the words with sing song entonation, give cheerful compliments (for 4 hours) and listen to the kids that have had it and scream the entire time. I know it's part of the process. I know those moms rather be elsewhere as well. Finding the energy to carry on as enthusiastic as the first timers is hard though. It helps that I have days of wine-ing to look forward to.

We are still 6 months away from his Quinn's 3rd birthday.  Most importantly, we are still under the glaring possibility of an autism diagnosis which will make this the 2nd round for us. Not saying that will happen but we are still under that "window". Until that window closes and we have a green light of no autism, my stress level will be considerably high. We are working hard towards escaping that autism diagnosis. We are doing everything in our power but there are days, like today, that I feel like it's not enough. This is where my whining comes in. Who am I kidding, I was talking about me the entire time I mentioned whining, not the kids.

I am whining about it yes. Things could be worse but they can also be so much better. I can fill in the blank with a lot of "at least's" Yes, at least I have this and that yadda yadda. Thing is, nothing matters unless you and your family have health. Plan and simple. Health is the single most important factor in our lives. With health you can do anything. Who cares if we can go to Napa if we would trade it in a heart beat for our children to have a typical childhood. Shoot, they don't even have to be really smart. Just typical. We will take it.  Even C students! Detention? great!

Until then, I am grateful we do our getaways and adult nights. Without them we would only be enveloped in a sea of depression, surrounded by pecs schedules, evaluation appointments, doctor's visits, and well meaning ABC singing mothers at therapy sessions.

It's Monday but I am already counting down to the weekend when we can relax and have more whine over wine time. It's what keeps us going.



Kristi V said...

I hate to whine, but having to do homework with my C student (like pulling teeth, I tell ya) is cutting in to my Queen Bee time! Typical or atypical, raising kids is no day at the roller rink (as a wise autism mom once said).

Your decision to carve up meat, um, I mean carve out time for yourself to work on other important relationships is so smart. We a need replacement motto for: Happy wife, Happy life (overplayed, and it doesn't include hubby in there...)

And in response to your sudden burst of writing energy I say: WRITE ON!! :)

B said...

Happy wife, happy life IS played out. One day, when we are on our own reality show, we will coin our own catch phrase. entWINEd indeed :o)ok, back to writing.

Caffeinated Autism Mom said...

You have got the right idea! I, too, have learned that quality time with my husband is key. We need to stay unified in our approach with the children, and having some quiet time to strategize on whatever current dilemma we face can yield some great results! We also just plain like having fun together. We need to feel lighthearted sometimes!

Try to carve out that time whenever you can. It's very important for the health of your marriage and your family. I hope you are able to get some more wine time soon! :-)

-Angela (aka Caffeinated Autism Mom)

B said...

Thanks Angela! lesson learned. No one can tear us away from it now. I think we might be addicted to alone time once again. It has been way too long and we have a lot of time to make up. Thanks for visiting!