The grass is NOT always greener

Last fall as I waited in the carpool lane at school, I endlessly watched a mom that always parked a couple of cars in front of me. As an ASD mom you often wonder what it's like to not live in our world and how lucky those are that don't have to deal with autism.

This is what I was doing as I watched this mom. Every day she would pull up and unknowingly entertain me. Some days she would get out of her car with her baby in tow. Sometimes she would change the baby in the back of her truck. Other times she would walk in and out of the office to drop off party supplies. Whatever it was, I was in awe of this mom.

Why? Well, her life seemed perfect. She was composed. She was picking up the perfect little boy who was in the 4-year-old age range and had a second baby in her arms. The baby reminded me so much of my son at that age. She is blonde with perfect hair, a fit body type and always has a smile on her face. One happy smiling family with no issues like mine! What was not to envy? This is what I want! A second baby that has yet to happen in my life, a constant smile and just that easy life I seem to think parents of typical children have and take for granted.

Out of nowhere on March 31st I got an e-mail from my husband. He was getting a physical and the nurse mentioned her best friend also has a child with autism. She would be calling me, he said. She did. She called me and we spoke for like an hour. Yet another random mom I talk to and connect with in the hopes of helping out her son. It was a routine day for me. Except this time, it was different. I arranged to meet this mom for a playdate the next day to keep chatting.

It was April 1st (April fools day). She happens to live BLOCKS away from my house. A two-minute car ride! Wonderful! I got there, and the door to her home was open. I called out, and she yelled to come on in. She peeked her head through the door, and there she was.....the mystery mom who I always admired. April Fool's Day on me!

I could not believe this! No! Can't be! Why does she have to be an ASD mom too? Damn it! There goes my "grass is greener" concept. My heart sank, and I was angry as well. All this time, she was going through the same ups and downs as I was. While I welcomed yet another ASD mom friend and was excited to have found such a cool one, I could not help but wonder how bizarre this scenario had been for me. I wondered if maybe I come off this way to others as well. After much thinking, I realized I am also always smiling when I pick up my son, and he is pretty perfect too! It's all how you look at it, no? Taught me a quick lesson about assuming and we all know what that means. . . 

It has been almost two months that she has been in my life. What a Godsend she has been. We are so similar! We have made each other cry and laugh. I find myself reminding myself of things to tell her the next time I see her. The daily pick up car lane afternoons are now spent chatting up the latest updates in our lives and comparing notes.

I no longer get to watch her and imagine her happy life, I am now a part of it. I hope we can both be happy in it. She is my new best friend, and I hope to share many moments with her and one day, look back and reflect on this stage in our lives. Like she says "we will be sipping drinks in Maui laughing about it."

Love ya girl!

Nemo update..

Well, he never did swim during the two weeks of the sessions!

We tried passive and aggressive techniques, and they all failed. The mystery remains.

Just what is it that got him spooked?

At our home pool, he will now play on the steps and stay in the shallow area. Any attempt to bring him to the deep end or to "swim" will result in him running out the pool.

We are giving him time to get reacquainted with the water as if we were starting all over again. He seems happy when allowed to roam free and play.

The summer is still young so perhaps giving him time and space will work to our advantage.

Nemo no more...

Anyone that knows our son knows he is obsessed with the water. We have always said he was our little Nemo. That is, until now.

Last year he even took swimming lessons. By the time he was done he was swimming over the water just fine, could swim to the edge, pull up and get himself out of the water.

What happened? I have no idea.

We tried several times this year to start the pool routine again. We noticed that he was not as into it anymore and in fact, was acting a little scared to go in. Instead, he plays on the entrance steps and does not do anything else. While I like that he respects the water now, I do not like his complete disregard for it. Especially living in Florida!

I was initially excited when the school announced that as part of a drowning prevention program, the county would be sponsoring swimming classes for Kindergarteners for two weeks. I could not believe how great this was going to be! That is until we got to the pool on Monday.

He initially sat down next to the kids in his class, but then got up and left running in full panic mode as far as he could. Nothing I did worked so I just let him sit there while I sulked.

Yesterday was day 2, and it was the same. I tried not forcing him. I even left his clothes on until he requested to go in. He did! I then took off his shirt and shoes when he said "I want swimming" but then he ran away again. We tried enticing him with water, his teacher, and every technique imaginable and nothing.

Thankfully I was able to hide my frustration tears behind my big fashionable sunglasses as he just sat there watching the other kids jump, swim and splash around happily.

Part of me wants to throw him into the pool and make him swim (he knows how). The other part says well if you want to sit there, then sit.

Today is Day #3, and I am NOT looking forward to it. I am dreading it. My husband says he is going tomorrow and that he WILL throw him in.

As an interesting side note, we told him all day yesterday that if he did not swim, there would be no hide and seek (his new favorite game with us) at night. Well, when my husband got home from work he did not even greet him. Instead, he stayed in his room with this eerie quiet and respect. He did NOT request to play hide and seek (that he has been playing for two weeks straight) and when my husband scolded him for not swimming, he just stayed mum. He usually would cry or try to make us forgive him as he always detests when someone is mad at him.

I wonder what goes through his head. What is he feeling? What does he want to tell us to make us understand what has happened? It is incredibly frustrating not to know.

So, I leave you as I get ready for the dreaded swimming lessons. Today I will attempt his favorite water toys and wet his feet with more water.


More updates later. Wish me luck! :)

It's baaaaaaaack!

The last time we had tested my son's urine for yeast it was a half-hearted attempt. He was not potty trained and the urine was mixed with a little water as we attempted to collect it in the tub.

Now that he can go on command we finally got a good sample and scary results to go with it too!

I got the results and then waited about a month to speak to my doc about it.

As it turns out, the OAT identified toxins produced by yeast. Well, duh.

He has elevated: hphpa, arabinose, 3 oxyglutaric acid and citramalic acid.

What does this mean?

Well I can go into the entire medical explanation, but I really like mine better: THIS MEANS THAT IT SUCKS! Yet one more thing that sucks about autism.

Now, my baby is supposed to start on grapefruit seed extract, Lacto-duo, colostrum and lipolic acid. Four more supplements to add to his diet?

The scary part is the supposed protocol to follow this week; the grapefruit seed extract for 10 days, then the lipolic acid for 3, and then conclude with a urine and stool collection.

There are days that I want to just take it all away and hand him a bowl of pasta with lots of cheese on it (you know, since he is gf/cf/sf). But, I know that would do no good either so then, what to do?

I am not looking forward to this. He has also been a little spaced out. We call his name and it' s taking him a good 2 or 3 tries to finally get him to look. This has not been present in about 4 years so it is heartbreaking to see some of that return.

Should make for an interesting post next week when it's all done.