An update and a little more...

I was hoping that taking that leave of absence from work left me more time to blog. Ha! Right! That seems not to have worked out considering my last post was in August. I was way too optimistic and unrealistic. From now on I will cut myself some slack and blog when I can. Period. I had also hoped to separate both kids blogs, but that does not seem like it's going to work either. It will be one blog and one blog only. I will also blog about my life or my attempt at one and not just autism. It's a brand new ME!

Quinn (1) is making steady improvements in the motor skills area. With the help of PT, OT and ST he keeps improving on a daily basis. Not crawling or walking yet, but he is taking steps with support and also goes into knees and hands with little help. Fine motor skills are also emerging left and right. For example, he now holds his sippy cup proudly. He also signs "All done" and for "more." He is a super happy baby; everything is funny, everything makes him laugh. What a joy!

Kai (8) is also improving by leaps and bounds. At times, though, it's hard to remember that when he is scripting the entire Pillow Pets commercial or Elmo Holiday DVD. Urgh! He is reading at 2nd grade level (he is in 3rd grade) and doing double digit addition- even carrying over 1! He loves school and has started to use better-structured sentences unprompted! Imagine that! We are still using the doctor that is four hours away: ruling things out and going back to the beginning by carefully testing and acting on blood/urine/stool results. He is still on a GF/CF/SF/PF mostly organic diet. Up next, we will be going back to the "toxic metals" chapter. We had dropped that to focus on gut issues. Now that his yeast is under control and testing is back to normal we are ready for this stage again. 

He continues to attend hippotherapy and a social group both once a week. He has visited Sea World, local fair, the movies, bowling and even sleepovers with his social group. He LOVES it!

Both kids had a fabulous Christmas. Quinn seemed interested in the gifts, and Kai wanted to open all the presents- even if they were not his!

OK, off my soapbox for today.

Here is hoping everyone has a fantastic 2011!
May the force be with us all.

It's time...

So where was I all this time? Well, when I last blogged I announced I was pregnant. I had another baby boy, Quinn, in May 2009. That in itself was full of challenges. The past year and a half was mainly about my pregnancy, transitioning into life from 1 to 2 kids and all that it entails.

School started as usual that fall and Kai began 2nd grade. He had a new teacher who I really liked, but I began to get fed up with the administration and the lack of attention to "our" ASD kids. I spent the last three years trying to do things for the kids at the school. I attempted to organize a parent support group, became room mom and helped organize their parties and anything needed. I chaperoned field trips, volunteered more often than not and each time I was welcomed with a slap in the face, attitudes, and red tape. By the time January 2010 came, I was done. We started paperwork to get him out of the public school system and enrolled him in a private school. Did I mention that the last straw was when I encountered resistance to bringing in an air purifier to my son's room? Yet another lifestyle change came our way. We now have payments we did not have before given the school is 30 minutes from our house! It had to be done. He is 8. We refused to let him rot in the public school system and not give him a chance at a better education. I cannot waste time fighting for his rights so that by the time he is 20 and too late I might have made a dent in all their red-tape bullshit. Not happening. Not on my watch. 

This last March we switched doctors to one four hours from our house. So far, so good. He also started hippotherapy and has been doing a social skills group once a week as well. We have all been busy making sure the kids' needs are met.

Quinn has been a blessing and a joy to our entire family. He is a very happy, social and laid-back baby. He just turned a year old and does have some motor skill delays (no crawling, pulling up or walking), but no autism. He started to babble at 11 months, said "momma" at 12 months and is beginning to wave bye-bye. Late, but it's there. He has great eye contact too! We have taken every known precaution before and during the pregnancy and this past year. Only time will tell if we beat the autism monster or not. Kai loves to steal Quinn's toys, and Quinn just adores to watch all he does intently.

I recently took a leave of absence from my job to care full-time for Quinn and truly dedicate this next year to catching him up with his therapies and at home care. This should leave more time to blog. I am glad to be back. I have missed it!

Hope everyone has a fantastic summer!

The Parent Wars Part 2

I attended a parent coffee break sponsored by the local CARD group. I had never attended one and I was not sure what to expect.

I got there on time, picked up my coffee, and headed to meet the moms. There were about 7 of them sitting by a long table. One of the moms (we'll call her Claire) I already knew from my son's new ABA place. The table was coincidentally (I think) divided already. Moms of the older kids sat on one side and the ones with the younger kids on the other. I introduced myself and jumped right into the small talk. As we got going, I started to talk more with "my side" - the parents of younger children.

My son is 6. I was giving the moms of the 2 and 3 year olds feedback on the different therapies and treatments we have tried. At one point, I was engaged in conversation with a mom who had gotten there late when I hear one of the moms of the older kids refute EVERYTHING I had told Claire! It happened so fast that I could not interrupt my current conversation to go back and defend her!

This mom that I already knew was getting attacked by this other mom. I don't mean attacked in a rude way or anything. It was more along the lines of " listen, my son is 15 and nothing of what you are doing will work, blah blah blah- you have to accept her as is and just stick with therapy." 

Just as I was finishing my conversation with the mom that had gotten there late, I turned around to join the conversation next to me and defend this mom but the group was quickly dispersing and everyone was saying goodbye. I did not get a chance to butt in and I was so upset about it. Throughout the entire morning it seemed as if it was team A against team B instead of one united support group. All of the older moms were bitter, naysaying and rolling their eyes at the mention of any intervention that was not just ST, OT or ABA. Was this a debate or a "support" group?

While I understand that perhaps 20 years ago a lot of these intervention were not available, what good do they really do by being so negative and giving "knowitall" smirks to these newer moms or toddlers? Yikes! I was furious!

I left to pick up my son from therapy and as luck would have it I ran into the mom that had gotten the grunt of the bitterness. I was so happy! I walked up to her as she loaded her toddler in the car and said "Listen, I just wanted ot mention that you have to find what is right for you and your daughter. Don't let these older moms discourage you from trying different things. What works for me might not work for you so you have to find the formula that is right for you and you only. I noticed that they were all trying to sway you otherwise. I am sorry I was not able to jump in sooner". She looked at me, paused, and said while starting to tear up " I am SO glad you are telling me this. I left there feeling so down. I felt like they were mocking and making fun of me. I was just planning on picking up my daughter and crying on my way home!"

Just then, I instinctly hugged her and told her it would be alright, to stay strong and keep looking forward. I told her she was doing amazing! Shoot, I wish my son would have been in ABA at 2!

So here we are again, talking about the parent wars for a second time on my blog. Why? My goodness, I could never look at a parent of an ASD child and tell them not to try something or that they are wasting their time! I hope that if my son reaches his teens still with an ASD diagnosis that I am not bitter like these women were towards other moms. I know there are kids who have recovered doing stuff I am doing with my child already and I still encourage others to try it because of it. So, it did not work for me, why would I discourage others not to do so? I just don't get it.

There is something seriously wrong with people in our community. We need to stand united people! Cut the crap!

Happy Birthday! I think...

Today is my son's birthday. He turns six.
He is beautiful and other than autism, very healthy.
I am grateful for that, I really am.
I love him soooo much it hurts.
This little thing that I carried with me and who showed me how to love unconditionally.
The one who still cuddles with me at night and prefers mommy over everyone in the world.

That's my boy!

"I bet your son loves birthday's, huh?" says my hairdresser to me today.

"Sure," I said halfheartedly. Better than the answer I always want to say " Nope, really, he does not even know today is his birthday, what a birthday means and that it's his turn today. Nothing, nada, zilch. Today is just another day for him."

It was hard last night when I put him down to bed. So many thoughts. I can't believe he is not five any longer. Six just sounds so old to me now. I cried and got all sentimental about it. 

But, here we are. No special plans today. Just a little bit of family coming over to sing happy birthday on a cake he can't and won't eat anyway even if it was diet approved. I don't want to be so somber, I swear. It's just reality though and covering it up with all the fake "focus on the bright side" crap won't help, and I just don't feel like it.

We officially celebrated his birthday last week at Pump it Up. He had an absolute blast, and the only autisms that happened were # 1 when he had to watch a video before entering the inflatables area # 2 during the "eating" portion of the party. 35 kids in a little room eating pizza and cake and he wanted to leave with both mommy and daddy. Of course, that could not happen so we had a tantrum. # 3 when daddy was still inside while he waited in the car for him # 4 when a toy he received on his birthday ran out of batteries and there were no more and nowhere to find more at 8pm on a Sunday. But other than that it was a blast to jump on all the bounce houses and slide a zillion times. He really did have a fantastic time.

So, today, a week later is his real birth date. When will he look forward to a birthday and get all excited? Request a theme party? Ask for a gift? Eat cake? Blow out a candle properly? Open gifts? Is that ever going to happen?

But, when did I ever get this depressing? Oh, I know! must have been sometime between planning his first birthday and now. Yeah! The first birthday when I booked Barney to come, and he cried while we sang. Hmmm, maybe it was the second one when we had something small at home, and he was in another world the entire time. Of course, crying during the happy birthday singing. Oh wait, maybe it was the third when I figured the way to go was a water park he loves so much. Nah, that can't be it. That's the one that he was spaced out while we sang happy birthday to him. That only leaves the fourth and fifth. The fourth gathering at the My Gym I so carefully planned with the beautiful farm cake. That one was actually the best one. He blew out the candle because we practiced it a thousand times, and it took him that many to do it that day as well, but he did it. But still clueless as to what he was doing there. Lastly, the 5th when I decided there would be no party, and we would go to Disney instead. On his real birthday, we sang happy birthday, and he ran away from us. That leaves this year. It's no wonder I am all exhausted with this birthday business and the expectations that come with it.

It must be that his seventh birthday will be the best one yet, right?Yeah, that must be it.

Green, three -eaded kids and the birthday parties

Ahhhhhh the business of kid's birthday parties!

While most parents of normal kids plan and stress over the details for a birthday celebration, they are unaware of how equally stressed we parents of kids on the spectrum are as well. 

For us, no detail must be left behind. Everything has to be perfectly planned and timed in order to ensure my child is in the best mood. The special gf/cf/sf foods have to be prepared ahead of time and into my son's lunch box. Once there (while other parents hang around, drink, eat, and socialize) my husband and I take turns being my son's shadow.  We must make sure he does not push anyone (new phase), take someone's toy (imagine the joy of explaining the sharing concept once again to my son in mid-party), or put himself in a position to endanger himself (such as pushing a chair to climb the pool fence or run away).

It's with much joy that I put our family in these situations over and over. I am kidding of course; it is a much dreaded event to open invite after invite. I am beginning to think that perhaps it's best to just stick with "my own kind." You know, parents of other autism kids who get it or just stop attending parties altogether. 

We recently had a party "incident." My son cried from start to finish. I finally had it and left abruptly. Why? Well, he did not like the generator noise the bounce house was making. All the happy-happy-joy-joy guests tried guessing why my son was in full tantrum. "Oh, he is hungry,"  "Afraid of balloons," "It's too hot." Such great pearls of wisdom. I know they meant well, but forgive me for not wanting to hear it as I tried to help soothe my son's behavior in 95 Miami, Florida heat. 

The very latest one started out as a good one for my son. Bounce house, outdoors setting with a nice breeze, and a perfect sunny day. The first thing he did was run for the pebbles and throw one in my friend's pool- a habit we have been battling for a couple of months now) I got that one under control and he thankfully moved on to something else. The bounce house was a hit this time. He jumped, climbed, went down the slide, and had a blast. Silly us, we thought it would all be smooth sailing that day.

Fifteen to twenty minutes into the party, he found a toy activity table he liked and almost took it away from a 10 month old (who was using it as a stabilizing tool to stand up). I say "almost" because, of course, we autism parents were watching like a hawk and stepped in right in the nick of time. We saved the day, the 10-month old's face, and moved on to the next scenario.

I have to note that my son has been to this house before. In it, there is a playroom and a big TV. He has played inside and watched this TV before. None of it was available on this day because the party was completely designed to be outdoors only. Not great for us, but the host's right to do so. The problem was, I was not aware of this prior to the party (and had I known I probably would not have been able to attend). It became a big problem when my son decided he now wanted to go inside to continue playing. 

Go along with me here. If you have a child with autism, you know that explaining things to a child severe cognitive delays is like talking to the wall. In his world, I am the one keeping him from going inside. It's black and white. I can speak slowly, attempt to draw it for him, and keep explaining until I am blue in the face and it will not work. Adding to the problem were the extreme loudness outside (which might have started to overstimulate him), and the Florida sun beating down on us. Did I mention receptive speech is also not his forte?

We tried for about twenty minutes to chase and redirect him to different toys. We also took short breaks in between to sip some water and catch our breath. He finally realized we were purposely not letting him go inside the house and he held on to the door for dear life attempting to enter the house.

If you can please, for one second  imagine my husband pulling my five-year old off the door and him screaming like we were killing him. I believe there was a record scratching-moment of pause at the party when everyone turned to see who was screaming so loudly. 

We finally decided to pack it up and leave. I understand the party rule was no play inside the house. We did try. But I also know I could not explain this new rule to my son especially given he had been inside so many other times. As we were leaving, I briefly mentioned the reason we had to hastily leave to my friend. She did not extend an offer to let him go inside. I think the situation could have been saved had he been allowed to go inside. Instead, she just said "Aww, OK bye."  I wasn't go to impose and insist, so that was that. In the midst of this, we started getting side eye from some of the other parents as my son kept crying. Awesome. Just, awesome. 

This is for parents of typically developing children:

(most taken from the very popular Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew post that has been going around and with some added comments by me)

1. I am first and foremost a child. I have autism. I am not primarily "autistic." My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)? Those may be things that I see first when I meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all about. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don't think I "can do it," my natural response will be: Why try?

2. My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself.

3. Please remember to distinguish between won't (I choose not to) and can't (I am not able to). Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn't that I don't listen to instructions. It's that I can't understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: "*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*………" Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: "Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It's time to go to lunch." This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.

4. I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It's very confusing for me when you say, "Hold your horses, cowboy!" when what you really mean is "Please stop running." Don't tell me something is a "piece of cake" when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is "this will be easy for you to do." When you say "It's pouring cats and dogs," I see pets coming out of a pitcher. Please just tell me "It's raining very hard." Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.

5. Please be patient with my limited vocabulary. It's hard for me to tell you what I need when I don't know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong. Or, there's a flip side to this: I may sound like a "little professor" or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is called "echolalia." I don't necessarily understand the context or the terminology I'm using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.

6. Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.

7. Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can't do. Like any other human, I can't learn in an environment where I'm constantly made to feel that I'm not good enough and that I need "fixing." Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however "constructive," becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one "right" way to do most things.

8. Please help me with social interactions. It may look like I don't want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it's just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I'm delighted to be included. I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end. I don't know how to "read" facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so I appreciate ongoing coaching in proper social responses. For example, if I laugh when Emily falls off the slide, it's not that I think it's funny. It's that I don't know the proper response. Teach me to say "Are you OK?"

9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. Try to remember that all behavior is a form of communication. It tells you, when my words cannot, how I perceive something that is happening in my environment. PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME. I cannot control my impulses.

10. And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience.

=================================================================

That said, I was very upset and in tears as we left yet another birthday party due to behavior issues. My son did not get to see Spiderman who was making an appearance later and did not get to participate in the singing of the birthday song

Just another day of autism....
 

I sometimes think that autism being an invisible disability makes it worse. Why? People look at our son and immediately assume there is nothing wrong with him. Surely, it must be our parenting. I am going to be extreme here and a bit silly, but I  think if all kids with on the spectrum were green and had 3 heads there would be a cure by now. Seriously, stop laughing. It's a lot more acceptable to read about the 1 in 150 kids affected by autism, feel bad for a second, and go on with your day. But, if you had to look at a hell of a lot of green kids with 3 heads walking around all day, every day, something would have been done about it by now. The sense of urgency would be different. You would be reminded all the time. Isolating and discriminating against these kids would only work for so long. At the rate we are going, it won't be long before there will be a child with autism or special needs everywhere you look. 

I am tired of the lack of understanding I encounter on a daily basis. It's changing who I am. I don't want to play all sides and be a people-pleaser any more. It's much easier to come out, guns blazing, right off the bat defending the rights of my child.  Kids on the autism spectrum are not going away and I am not going to live in a bubble. Compassion and empathy would go a long way. Pass it on! 

Diving in!

So we have waited all this time to dive into ABA and we are doing it!

I have decided to take the ABA plunge for the summer.

Not sure how we will pay for it but we will figure it out.

It is ridiculously expensive! So much so, we will be doing 20 hours a week versus the recommended 40.

I decided that this was the summer for the intensity of ABA therapy for him. I am sad he won't have the type of fun summer he usually has that, while therapy oriented, is still fun and with lots of kids. I figure the good this does should roll over to many many fun summers to come.

And it better be! With an estimated cost of about 10k , it better be or my husband will kill me!

And here I thought the $184.00 per week we spent for speech therapy was bad. Yikes!

Perhaps I can look into a second job for the summer too to help out.

We have to wait until May to go in for an evaluation. That way, they get the latest info on him. He will start the second week in June and go right up to when school starts again.

In addition, I got some information from a mom of a former student from his old school. His old classmate is now almost recovered! Wow! I am looking into the protocol they are using. It is a seven steps program. By just looking at it quickly, it looks like we have been doing the top five steps already with our holistic doctor. I am wondering if to add these two steps as well, but fearful of the combination of the other stuff he is already taking. I have to read some more on it. More in a new post later. She also recommended this ABA place who she swears by and that is who we will be using.

My question is, how do parents do it? How can parents get ABA services for their kids to happen? I think I want to set a goal that if I can recover my son, I will start my own foundation to help kids and will try to make it with the least amount of red tape possible.

We never did ABA exclusively because the school he went to for pre-school was all integrated with ST, OT, ABA/VB and RDI. He was getting a little bit of the techniques but not all the time.

This is very scary to us. 
Here's hoping it works!

The Magic Potion Lotion

I love the Authia cream. 

It's the newest thing we have added along with removing all aluminun foil from cooking any of his meals. We are also not microwaving anything anymore for him. Bye bye micro!

He is now pretty much 85% organic too. . We are only missing toys, bed sheets, mattress and clothing. As I type there is even a guy outside installing a salt water pool system.

But, back to Authia! Wow...here are some of the things he has done this past 22 days:

- Has become increasingly aware

- So much so that separation anxiety from his teacher has started. Instead of being zombied back and forth all day he is aware of where and who he is going with.

- Speech therapist said he imitated actions with Mr. Potato Head

- Two days in and up to yesterday at least has started to point to days and months during morning class ritual song.

- Played with his music drum appropiately

- Requesting "lunch time" any time he is hungry (he NEVER requests this-usually only requested pretzels)

- Started finally drinking from a cup and trying from the water bottle

- Pointed to my shirt and said "green!"

- Pointed and attempted to read some words from my PC screen

- Pointed to my car as I pulled up to the house and said "Look! Mommy!"

- When being scolded for pumping from my lotion in my bathroom he covered his face in dispair and said "Not again! " lol

- Passed his first ever reading and spelling test!

- Really trying to read words more often. This morning he read "Barney in O Square" for -Barney in Outer Space"

- Asking for his teacher when he sees her walking away

- Very curious investigating stuff all over the house

- Interested in my reading words to him

- Can untwist water bottle and pour with mostly success

- Making pretend he can blow up his big play ball (he can't do a straw yet but probably soon!)

- Kicking his ball

- Drank water from a fountain for the first time

- Said "I love you daddy"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Game me a voluntary, non requested BIG HUG as he said it too! ;)

Don't get me wrong, there still been hyper days and some days when the stimming drives me up the wall, but overall it has been more good days than bad. As usual, we are waiting for the "bad" to resurface because every time we start to get used to a lot of gains something goes south. 

For now, we are happy-happy-happy!

T.G.I.F

The Florida Panthers hockey game was the place we went to last night. A friend invited us to their corporate suite. Perfect! It is a decent sized room with a closed door, bathroom and just 3 steps below there are several rows of seats to watch the game in a private balcony. My little one can run all over the place, climb the seats and watch without bothering anyone. Except for the grape, he found on the floor and threw at a fan sitting below- oops-sorry sir!

He must have known something was up. The routine was different than most weeknights. By the time he woke from his afternoon nap, I was already dressed in street clothes and daddy was already home. You can tell he felt a little antsy and wanted to make sure we were taking him. He would not leave our side.

The arena is right down the street from us which is great as well. We got there in less than 5 minutes and went up the escalator to the suite. He feared the escalator initially (not sure why since he has always loved it), but got on it the second time around.

Got to the room and initially covered his ears from the loud music, but was VERY intrigued by the ice and the skaters warming up skating around. He did this the entire time on and off depending on the volume. At first, he sat and trembled a bit. I guess he was nervous but he cracked a smile as he covered his ears. The cold was unexpected too! Should have known. Duh, an ice arena? lol

Other than getting scared with the loud BOOM and crowd cheering when they scored, I would like to say that he liked it! In fact, if there was a break with no players on the ice he would get upset, request the DVD player, and start whining. But the minute they came out he would run out to see them. In case you missed that attachment story regarding DVD player please refer to the Disney post. We didn't take it so that we could break up that routine.

We didn't last the entire time, but for about an hour and a half, he was very into it all. I wish hockey had no breaks in between! Those were the hardest for us. I think, given the chance, this is something he would eventually get used to watching because of the non-stop action.

His eyes also easily followed the puck! Shoot, I could barely see where it was...lol

In other news, he had a good week in school. The teacher said he passed his first ever vocabulary and reading test with zero answers wrong!

He has also been trying to speak a little more. It sounds like gibberish but it's a lot more than before. It sounds like "ghsikhglkixhlgkhlxikdglhi MOMMY" He is for sure more aware of things going on around him and pointing to words on the classroom wall in school!

TGIF!!!!!!!!

The not so magical Disney trip

Our January Disney World Trip

Thursday: My husband, my mother, my son, and I left at around 2:00pm. My son fell asleep right on time as we drove north. Two and a half hours into the trip, we had to make a potty stop. The hubby came around to get our son just as I mistakenly locked the car doors. Silly me, I thought the hubby had everything with him. After all, how could he possibly come get our son, go back to get his wallet and the keys with him in tow. That's what he did and I locked us out. I took him to the potty and I then remembered we had Onstar. The hubby had already figured it out and was calling them. Just like the commercial, the door was unlocked in under 2 minutes. CLICK! Amazing! Way to save the day OnStar! I was ecstatic. We arrived at the hotel just a half hour later. Three hours of trip time. Not too bad. The weather was hideous in Orlando. I should have known then it would be a "stormy" weekend (in every sense of the word).

We settled in with all of our stuff: the infamous cooler we always carry with all of his food and refrigerated supplements, a toaster oven, and all of the other must-haves for all the just- in-case scenarios. We ordered a fridge and microwave as well. Because, you know, we don't have enough crap with us already. We all headed to Downtown Disney, after what seemed like forever in the room organizing our son's stuff, making his food (in a space of about 3" x 24"). Downtown Disney was right down the street and we made it there quickly. As we got out of the car, it started to drizzle and it never stopped. We walked to Wolfgang's and sat right away since we had reservations. Dinner was really good, as usual. My son ate his food. We had heated his food at the hotel. Afterward, we got out his DVD player as a reward. He seemed to become increasingly attached to the player as the vacation went on. The more people around, the more he used it to tune everything out. Once we finished dinner, he rode the train and the carousel. We walked around some, went to the toy store, and headed back to the hotel at about 10pm. All night long, my mother had a whole lot of opinions to share on just about everything we did or didn't do. "Put the sweater on him," "Watch his hand," "Don't do this," "Don't do that," "It's raining," "He is getting wet." Blah, blah, blah. I secretly hoped it would be the last of it, but it was not even the first of it.

Friday: We all woke up at about 8:30ish and did the usual morning stuff. We had awful coffee at the hotel. We also had to fill up the cooler with ice. The fridge was not cold enough for all his stuff, that sucked. The hubby was bickering with my mom all morning over the darn ice and what the best way was to put store his food. Oh joy! I was bickering with her to stop telling me what to do, how to dress my child, and how to f'in feed him. At least my monkey kept asking to go see the "castle." After repeating it for him constantly, he was apparently finally understanding where we were and where we were about to go. We left at 10am to Magic Kingdom. It was really ugly outside. The drizzling and 90% humidity was daunting. So much for all the winter stuff I packed. The weather channel anchor had mistakenly said it would be nice and in the 40s. Not so! We parked and took the tram. As we waited for the monorail, Kai announces he wants the "potty." I had no choice but to ask him to please hold it. Poor thing, it was probably extremely hard for him to do it. The hubby rushed to the potty with him, once in the park. Meanwhile, I went to Civic Hall to renew our Guest Assistance Card. This is the part where I heard the angels singing. Without this card, we would NOT be able to visit the Magic Kingdom at all! I always take my old one. This make the renewal process much easier. I am serious when I say this is the single most important thing we need during this trip. I would have left back home had they not issued it! Walked out, showed him the castle and his face was just in awe, that is, until he forgot about it minutes later. Sigh. We went to the tea cups for the first time. After the Pooh ride, we won Year of a Million Dreams extra hour in the park on a non-extended hours day. BUT, we gave them to some random family because our plans for that night were not to this park :( Oh well. With our guest assistance card, we were able to use the handicapped entrance, be in a separate waiting area that would not be so crowded and be allowed in first to make sure there was no breakdown for all rides. At most, we waited 5 minutes or so. The park was insanely packed though. I will NEVER again go during a long weekend for sure. No way! Headed to Dumbo. Right as they sat us in and it elevated it started pouring! Why not? Bring it on. Whatever. We got soaked. I was really trying to be positive here.Went to the carousel which he loved and finally to the Small World ride. He was now in heaven for sure. When we came out, we could not find the stroller. It was about 15 minutes, but with our son it felt like an hour. He screamed repeatedly for his "wagon" and the cast member who moved it could not find it. Finally found the damn thing as our munchkin was now in full tears. We headed to lunch at the Liberty place. While we wait, we saw The Rock!!! I forbid the hubby from going up to him since he was with about 12 family members. I did not want pandemonium for this guy. Lunch was yummy! I went back to It's a Small World and then watched the 3pm parade. He loved the last float with all the main characters.This was the first parade that he has actually LOOKED at in the 5 times or so that we have been to MK since he was born. He usually cries or buries his face in the stroller. He walked up to the castle afterward and with a very worried face asked " Mickey Mouse?" It was so cute! In his mind, this is where Mickey lives.

Did some shopping and left by 4pm. Again, bickering between hubby and my mom, my mom and I, non-stop. For every decision or comment I would make, she countered with a differing opinion and it was pissing hubby off! It's hard to take in all the nice things when all of this is the backdrop. Back to hotel and took forever to get the mouseketeer to nap. We showered and left to the Contemporary for Chef Mickey's dinner with the characters. Shopped a bit, watched the fireworks from the lobby and then back to the restaurant to sit. Almost immediately the characters started to come by. No time to eat. He did not like Goofy at all! My mom, of course, wanted him to eat at that precise moment. "Who cares if the characters are here, I want to feed him." "Really? Is this what we are doing here at Chef Mickey's? Feeding him? Silly me thought it was for him to meet the Disney characters! Go figure" Stupid. My son in the mean time was too overwhelmed and hid behind the DVD player. Taking it away resulted in a floor tantrum which made every one around us miserable. It was a lose/lose situation. I think even Mickey was annoyed. But, hey, we continued to take pictures with the characters and make it the best we could. Goofy? Nope. Donald? Nope. Mickey? Nope. He would not pose, so we did instead. He did like Minnie mouse a lot. The food was pretty average. This was the worst character dinner ever. Not because of my son's lack of interest or my mother being a PITA but because they just walk around, no show or anything like that. I envied the happy families who sang songs at the dinner table, ate ice cream peacefully on Mainstreet and the kids who begged to buy stuff at the shops. It all seems so normal and so far from our relationships with our son and family circle. Anyway….

Back to the hotel, exhausted mainly trying not to blow up and ruin our vacation. I mean, my mother was on overdrive this trip. She usually has bad moments and then calms down but not this time. Had it been hubby and I alone, it would have been more intimate and a much smoother trip. To add to the fun our son had not pooped. Poop is important as well all know ! By not detoxifying, all the crap (pun completely intended) is inside of him and makes him act out. He also does more stimming and becomes very hyper. But wait, there was still Saturday to go, woohoo!!!

Saturday: Good morning to all! He woke up super irritable from the get go and no poop yet. More stimming, throwing himself full body against the bed and all that fun stuff. Left at 8am to MGM. Foggy morning and 60 degrees though the forecast was for 80s, rain and cold weather at night. Get to the Jojo character breakfast he had loved last summer. They sat us at the wrong table. Then they sat us in a table in a corner, which hubby did not want. Lastly, we get our third and final table. He ran over to June and is mesmerized, for a couple of hapy minutes only though. He wanted her for him and wants to dance with her which was great. After that, he wanted nothing to do with Jojo, Goliath and the others. Nothing. He even shoved poor Jojo and pulled Goliath’s tail (OK that part was funny)! So again, he hid behind the DVD, we adults took pictures with the characters, my mom gave her opinion of what we could have done differently and all her expert opinions and it was just such joy. Hubby sat pissed off because he does not want to be there. He wants to be home watching football. He paid for us to do this and he could care less about the characters this time around and he is about to kill my mother. I am in the middle of them both, trying to console my son and wanting to choke my mother as well. We left to the Playhouse Disney Show and IT”S F'IN CLOSED! You would think they would have told me that or I would have read that with all my Orlando message board research! Fabulous. I somehow find energy to try to make the best of our day and suggest the Little Mermaid show. We went in and minutes in he hates it and starts to scream (during the silent breaks) “WAGON! OUT! BYE BYE! ALL DONE! CAR!” We request to be let out of the auditorium and leave. He screamed all the way back to the car. Once in the car, it was like nothing had happened. The weather was getting crappier by the minute. Found a Walgreens and bought some glycerin suppositories to make him poop and head back to the hotel. All the way back, my mom continued to talk about why she thought he had not pooped, what we should have done, what he was thinking, and all the wonderful unsolicited comments. Hubby went under the covers to shut everyone out once back at the hotel. I put the suppository in and then wrote in my travel journal, my mother, you guessed it,  kept whining under her breath and we all waited for him to poop.

Half an hour later, there was poop! The stimming remained though which was so difficult to watch and take. It can break anyone down watching your child act like a complete lunatic! Finally, I lost it. I didn’t scream like I usually do. I just cried. So frustrated. I fed him while crying and warned them both to stay the hell away from me and leave my son and I alone. After that moment of drama for me we packed and went back to Disney though that had not been the plan, but we could not stay holed up in the room. Now, it was 80 degrees and muggy and we were wearing the 60 degrees clothing. Our parking spot was in HAPPY 79. Just perfect! Happy? God sure is funny. These Orlando forecasters have it all wrong. Went to Fantasyland and rode teacup and Dumbo where, guess what? IT STARTED TO RAIN AGAIN! Unbelievable. This time we had no hoodies on, so we were officially soaked. Did more of the same rides from the day before and ended with It’s a Small world again and he still loved it! Finished and waited 30 minutes for the castle show to start. In those 30 minutes my mother cried, said this life was a punishment for her (personal drama I won't get into here), called me inconsiderate, denied being opinionated (huh?). I ignored her and sat with my baby boy while we waited. I was hearing her complain to hubby, but I was spent. No more blow ups for me. He told her she needs to find her place and let me be the mom whether she agrees with my tactics or not. This went on the entire time. It took every inch of me to not throw her into the Disney pond. The show started and he was super happy and dancing. That is, until the witch part came out when he started crying, wanting to leave and refusing to look at the show, with his eyes shut closed. So frustrating. To add insult to injury, like I posted before, the cast kept chanting "dreams can come true" over and over which got me to choke back my anger and tears over this messed up weekend. Finished the show and did one more ride before deciding to beg the lady at the Mainstreet restaurant to move up our 7:40pm dinner reservations to 5pm. She complied, yeh! I had to pull out the "my son has autism" card so that she would understand my urgency, but whatever works at this point. Sat by 5:30pm and had a quiet dinner with a perfect view to the castle. It was a brief moment of heaven. We even saw some fireworks from the castle show while dining. That was a happy couple of minutes. I was just drained. Trying to stay positive and taking my trip in, but all the bickering made it hard.

When done the hubby wanted to leave back to the hotel. I stupidly insisted we stayed, again, trying to be positive. I wanted my son to see the Spectro parade with all the lights. We walk and find a perfect spot to wait for it and it started pouring. Not raining, pouring, lightning and all. After waiting 20 minutes hopeful it would somehow stop, they announced the parade has been cancelled. Pure human hysteria. Imagine every single person at the park attempting to exit at the same time! Had we been single we would have dashed to the deserted rides. My son is freaking out because his legs are soaked and we attempted to pull out ponchos and umbrellas while running to the monorail. He hated my bright yellow poncho and my convincing him that mommy wanted to be Big Bird was not working. It was a human herd. We made it unto a monorail and followed the massive lines for the parking trams. Only 5 were working! It was about a full hour before we got on one. One hour of my son having a “I am wet, tired, no nap, annoyed, sleepy, get me the hell out of here” meltdown. His shrieks were so loud that I know everyone around us wanted to kill us. We got those "looks." We finally got on our tram and made it to the car and the hotel. Insert BIG breath here. Took turns showering and we all hit the bed and passed out. No energy to even fight anymore.



Sunday: Of course, wake up to a gorgeous morning in the 40s, beautiful blue skies and sunny. Hubby in a great mood because we are going home. I wanted to take advantage and do another park (yeah positive me), but I had it with him wanting to not be here and my mom so I bitterly agreed to leave. We still have 2 more days on our pass so I hope to use them in the summer either alone with my son or with hubby too. Home by 1pm and that was that.

Fix it...

And I am back...


Not too chipper, but not too somber either.

Here are some updates in our crazy world:

- Had a high school reunion. That was fun, but of course odd with all the questions "Oh your son is 5, he must love sports or this and that huh?" I just went along with it and said he was more of an artsy kind. Which he is! Everyone loved his pictures.

- He had several rough days where his behavior was unpredictable and lots of crying fits..

- Has started with the shoving us and pulling our hair, but does it all with a sweet smile because to him, it's playing. It's not in an aggressive manner. It's more of a curious cause and effect game. If you happen to react too much to it, he will do it more. The key is to somehow let him know it's not OK but in a casual way. Got that ? lol

- Continued with the nose and throat stim

- Endured a grueling blood work session. We took him to the doctor to get blood work for Vit D and IgG allergy testing

He knew something was up the minute we walked into that little room. We used a papoose right away and he was petrified. He screamed "Excuse me, please." I tried not to break down, but finally did. The first vein they tried gave them some blood, but popped. They had to try his hand instead. He screamed so loud I could not hold the tears back. I held his hand the entire time and just said " it's OK, a little longer, mommy is here." Sigh. Of course, the minute we were done he was fine and dandy.

- On a good note, he has been saying some random phrases that I initially thought we were just not hearing right. " It's gonna be OK" and "Not again," the jury is still out on whether they are random or not.

- The other day we tried to get him too look at the Grammy's during the Beatles Cirque du Soleil performance (it's something he typically would enjoy watching). He could not stay still for 2 seconds to even look. I finally lost it and was so upset. Not just at that, but the combination of how I had been feeling this month. He requested to go "potty" so I took him. I was trying not to let him see me cry, but he did. He lifted my chin with his little hand bent down to get a good look at my face. He saw my tears and said "fix it!" lol that's his phrase to well, fix his toys, fix his nails and of course, he wanted mommy to "fix" the tears....such a sweetie! Guess what, that made me cry more! lol I am such a cry baby this month. Geez. We then went back to bed (we co-sleep) and in the dark he would reach out to "check up" on my tears. He would touch my eyes to see if they were still wet..... awwwww!

- But the very very latest is that...wait for it... he got thrown out of his music program! Yup! Anyone that knows him knows he is the sweetest child. Like I mentioned above, even when he is shoving he completely thinks he is playing and does not grasp that people can get hurt. Anyway, it was his fourth session. The first two were great, the third one last week was a little shaky. He was doing his now increased nose/throat stim and completely overwhelmed the so called therapist who could not discipline him. She appeared to be flustered and not able to concentrate enough to get a grip on her big class of 4 STUDENTS! So, this past Saturday he was doing the same stim and as an added bonus was apparently shoving and throwing the guitars. Well, while he might have done those things, he CAN be disciplined which she did not do. My husband and other parents were outside and did not at any point hear her discipline him or even tell him to stop. She just abruptly walked him out of the class by his dangling arm and tossed him to my husband and said " We will speak after class" and walked back inside. My 37 year old husband could not believe this woman! He also refused to be told to stay after school like if he was in 7th grade and left. She later called and said she was afraid for her "well being" LOL! (my barely 40 pound skinny boy) and that he could not be in a group setting. Never mind that she never even asked to work it out with my husband as to a different approach or even having my husband be present in the classroom. Never mind that my son attends regular public school and has never in his 5.5 years had this kind of problem with a teacher. We complained to the supervisors and got a refund or private one on one offered, but we just do not think this woman is the right therapist for him. It's not like he was in an exclusive art school. This is a center for kids with autism. My child is not even severe! What would she do in a severe kind of setting? Urgh!

- In any case, he has been much calmer the last 4 days or so and much more verbal. We are wondering if it's the added use of the AUTHIA cream we are using daily. Like with everything, it's just a guessing game. We simply do not know.

- Not sure if I mentioned this already, but we also got rid of all aluminum foil for his cooking and no more microwave use either. We heat everything in the toaster over or stove top the old school way. I was reading about it on this book called "Dylan's Story" (which was a good read btw). I learned a lot and plan on putting some of those theories to good use. My husband and I have also stopped wearing perfume inside the house. We take it with us and spray it outside. Here's hoping every little bit helps.



That's it for us now.

In the words of my fave Scarlett O'Hara
" After all ... tomorrow is another day."

So quiet...and the mouse

This past week has been pretty much QUIET.
I was so excited with each week of gains we had been having, but nothing this week.

Is this the plateau I was worried about?
I hope not.

We leave to Disney World on Thursday!
Let the packing begin!

He has been on the Disney website staring at the castle over and over.

He doesn't understand when I tell him that we are going to see Mickey and the castle.

He just gets excited when the fireworks shown on the website begin.

He also loves the Mickey Sing-a-long video, filmed at the park.

Since he's starting to understand the days of the week a little bit, I keep saying "Mickey on Friday." But, he just smiles, skips away and moves on to something else.

We visited last June.
He did pretty good and had a good time.
Fingers crossed for another good trip.

The hotel is lined up, refrigerator and microwave reserved for all of his special food and supplements. We are taking the toaster oven and a cooler with all his stuff.

I have my photocopy of his diagnosis as a back up as well as last summer's Guest Assistance Card, which was a blessing! Hopefully this will make it easier to get a new card without any hassle.

It is supposed to be in the 50s at night, brrrrrrrrrr, remember we are Florida residents. 50 is really cold for us. I just hope it does not rain. :(

We have booked 2 character breakfasts too!

Getting excited but as usual, nervous about all the what ifs.

Will post back soon.

Oh yeah!

More news:

-  Requesting "lunch time" and " dinner time" versus just the usual "crackers" which really means "feed me."

- When scolded for touching the TV he looked up and said "No, it's OK!". He has never defended any actions he has been in trouble for. Usually there is whining or crying involved, not words!

- Rode the carousel at the zoo! Twice!

- While watching a show at the zoo, he had a snack, bounced to the beat of the music playing AND clapped his hands without being prompted. Usually I have to remind him to clap! Not this time!

- On his first, second and third day back to school (today!) after the break, the teacher reported increased verbal skills, interest in the other kids, better eye contact and no whining/crying all day long! 

- Went on a field trip to a farm in school in the big yellow school bus and sat with absolutely no problem.

- When I picked him up from school, he requested "I want yellow school bus" to which I had to say that perhaps "soon," though really I felt like stealing the bus and taking him on a ride. It is huge that he requested this!

- During nap time, requested "MY socks." # 1 He never requests anything at nap time # 2 If he would, he would have just said "socks" # 3 He doesn't say "MY" anything. This was his first MY request!

In the words of Queen:

"Is this the real life-

Is this just fantasy-

Caught in a landslide-

No escape from reality-

Open your eyes-

Look up to the skies and see-"

We are ecstatic!

Can it really be that all of this is happening?

Then again, tomorrow makes one week from the parking lot tantrum incident. 
Let's see what tomorrow brings.

Fingers crossed!

Never a dull moment

As we left speech therapy, my son wanted to stay and watch the TV in the lobby. I urged him to walk with me. He jumped and landed on the floor right outside the therapy center screaming loudly and his back flat on the floor. He did this like 7 times or so, until I picked him up like a big heavy sack of potatoes and carried him halfway to the car. I put him down because he is heavy and I thought he was better. Bad idea. He jumped again and dropped himself on the floor screaming like I was killing him, crying using his throat. He was not there…he was gone, blank stare and all. Every time I was successful in picking him up, he would do the same and attempt to run back to the lobby. When he could not, he would jump and drop again. To make things better, he then rolled over and over and over in the middle of the parking lot as he screamed. I finally gathered some strength, picked him up high again as he threw his head back in full tantrum and pinned him with my shoulder to the car seat to buckle him in. Once buckled in, he was in full rage screaming and not letting me pick up my keys from beneath him (which I had dropped to buckle him in as he purposely threw his legs up towards my head!) I finally pinned them down and got my keys. As I closed the door and walked around to my side, I could hear him outside of the car screaming and kicking! Wow!

It was a trance-like transformation. Earlier, he had been super verbal, singing and so happy. Who is this person crying? I drove back and finally broke down crying. Although during the episode, I remained super calm. I stood watching him for some time trying to figure out what the hell he was doing and why! Five minutes later, he was happy like nothing happened.

We got home and he was happy, but when it was nap time he did the same thing. I usually lay down next to him until he falls asleep. I just stayed there as he screamed and screamed. He is doing a new sim thing. It's  like he is trying to catch his breath (but it' s not precisely that). Maybe he has some pain, but can't and doesn't know to tell me. His heart was racing fast. I finally caught him off guard and held his face really tight and said "Sleepy time now!" He cried a teeny bit more, turned over and crashed...all within 15 seconds of me doing that. Like I snapped him out of it.

So much for my good news. Must be the side effects I hear about all the time from some of the supplements? Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better? But hey, I will take 30 steps forward and 2 back ANY TIME!

On a funny note, they just called from the center about some financial thing and I completely thought they were calling to find out about the mad woman who was carrying her crazy child against his will to the car today. Ha! Gotta find the humor in it, right?

The fog is lifting!

Got 2 Urine Toxic Metals Test results back.

They show he is now letting out Mercury (what?), Arsenic (what?) and Thallium (what?) amongst others. I read what Thallium is and I cannot believe it. Some people use it to poison others! All of this leads me to confirm, even more now, that he cannot get rid of any toxins naturally like most people can. At least in his case, this all makes sense and the proof is in the results. Actual results on paper! 

On a good note, the changes these past 3 weeks have been remarkable. I still cannot have a real conversation with him, but his speech in terms of scripting (repeating songs and movie lines) and requesting have doubled! He is still stimming and a little hyper BUT:

- He no longer just says I -PAUSE- WANT -PAUSE -PRETZELS. Now it flows and he just says it all like he has been saying it forever.

- Eye contact is amazing and he is starting to string phrases along from the ones he knows already, but all at once "Mommy, come with me please, I want lunch time" HUH? What? You want lunch time? WOW! I could not believe it. I said "What do you want? Bananas? Tots? and he said "CHICKEN!" He got it, of course.

- He has been walking around the house like he has never been here, almost like studying it and learning every angle!

- Playing with toys he never even touched before!

- Jumping from his trampoline into the ball pit like all the kids do when they come here and he rarely ever did.

- Attempting to read everything he sees.

- Labeling everything he sees.

- Singing out loud, all day long. Enough to tempt me to ask him to be quiet, but I would never! lol Sing, sing! lol

- He is just sooo happy all day long.

- He has been accepting of the "open a gift" concept.

- Lastly, he is attempting to ride his new scooter (which requires tons of coordination) and is succeeding little bits at a time!!!

Perhaps he will hit a plateau or nothing else will happen, but for the first time in a LONG time I am really, really truly hopeful. It truly is amazing to experience.

Just wanted to share

No, excuse you!

My son has autism.

Kids with autism do random things.

It is what it is.

I was at my son's speech therapy center, not Chuckie Cheese or Gymboree. 

My son happened to be in a very good mood today. This means very hyper and friendly. This also means going up to strangers and giving them hugs and getting really up close in their face to look at them. It's called, stimming.

While waiting, he was all over the place: climbing on chairs, going up to people, smiling, and having a good ole time. He saw a woman with a stroller as she is attempted to exit the room. He ran over there before I had a chance to jet out of my chair, and jammed himself between the door and the stroller.

Clearly he wanted to purposely annoy this woman right? He purposely wanted to be a pain. Not the case, but you would have thunk it by the way this mom reacted. She started screaming. Screaming! As if my son had hurt her daughter! Meanwhile he smiled and tried to get a good look at the cute little girl in the stroller who is saying "hiiiiiiiii." "ExCUUUUSe me, ExCUUUUSe me" screamed the mom several times. This was all a matter of seconds, but I made it as she was pushing her stroller out the door at any cost and all I could manage was a trailing " He DOESN'T understand" as she fumed off rolling her eyes.

Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, my son innocently wanted to take a look at your little girl. Sorry he did such a horrible thing. Saying "excuse me" to a boy with autism is going to make him say "Oh shoot, yes, of course, what was I thinking running into you?" Really. Yeah, that works.

A half hour went by and my son happily came out of speech therapy. As I finished getting the details of his session from his teacher he ran to another little girl. This one a little older than him. She was in a wheelchair. I ran behind him but he is just so much faster than I. He tried to touch her eyes and succeeded. He was not hurting her, just touching her eyes. Is it the right thing to do? No. Is it a pleasant thing to feel someone do to you? Not really. Is it a devilish thing to do? I don't think so. Not if the "attacker" weighs no more than 40 pounds and has the biggest smile on his face as he says "baby" which is what he calls all little kids. I sternly called out to him to not touch but not before the girl's father gave him round 2 of "Excuse me! Excuse me!" After I took my son's hands away, apologized to the man and told my son "Do not touch" I turned around to the father and managed to say "He does not know not to touch. He does not understand it." He also rolled his eyes and continued talking to the woman next to him as I walked away.

Once in the car I fumed at both of these incidents. I understand this man was upset at the world. I have been there. I have plenty of bad days, but screaming at a little boy at a center where it is obvious every single child has some kind of issue is just ridiculous to me. I would never do such a thing. In this center out of all places, I am the most accepting, embracing and understanding person to all the kids I encounter. My heart always breaks when I see them walk through those doors. Why? Because like I said, it's not Gymboree or Chuckie Cheese. They are not there for fun. They are there because of a problem (s).

I cannot tell you how many times kids have come up to my son to take away his toy or to do something similar. It is what it is, it is what some do. I have never screamed at them. In fact, before I even direct any words to the other kids I look for the parent who I am sure is running huffing and puffing behind them. When that's not the case then with a smile and in a non-accusing way, I reposition my son or retrieve the toy and say something like " no no" or "you want to play?" If a parent apologizes I simply say "don't worry about it". That's it. No drama, no screaming, no nastiness. Is that so hard?

In hindsight, I wish I could have said to both "No, exCUUUUSE You! Excuse you for not understanding that he did not mean to overstep his boundaries, that if he is doing such an odd thing and is at a center that is mainly for autism, then it must be because he has autism or something wrong with him. Excuse you for not seeing that I was right behind him and not hiding behind a magazine ignoring his behavior. Instead I was rushing behind him to make sure everything would be OK. "

Come on now.